Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
