Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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