Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
