Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
