There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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