why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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