I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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