btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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