I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
