Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
