Hey man sorry I got all grabby
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
