A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
