I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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