I'm going to jail i love you
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Your cock deserves a montage
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
