he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This house was built for laser tag.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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