There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
