Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
