i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
