Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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