remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
