I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
