Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
