tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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