i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
