That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
