I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
