remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
