you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
