Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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