I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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