I'm really into asian looking animals
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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