I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
