Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
