when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
