I want to have your abortion
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she peed on how many people?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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