I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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