i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
