Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
