if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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