I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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