Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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