Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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