Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
soo... how was my night?
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