She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think my moral compass just broke
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
