You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
