Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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