so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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