the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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