did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
