it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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