Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
